Recently, I have been learning (a lot) about how to witness to non-believers. You could say the Holy Spirit has been knocking, or shall I say banging, at my door. And from various sources I have learned that the key to a good witness is the testimony. Making it personal, which makes sense. The entire Christian walk is personal, about a relationship with the Savior.

Over the years I have heard a decent amount of testimonies. And not to make any sweeping generalizations, but most have followed the same format. It was always a big comparison of their pre-conversion and post-conversion life. “This is what I used to do and what my life used to be like. Then, I found Jesus, and my life changed dramatically, and everything is different now.” That’s their testimony. And honestly, there’s nothing wrong with that format. In fact, it’s probably the best way to explain the impact that Jesus Christ can have on your life. However…

That’s their testimony. But it’s not mine. And I’m starting to see that that’s okay.

You see, I became a Christian at an early age (the exact age I accepted Christ I still unfortunately cannot recall). The memories of my conversion seem to be wrapped up in the blurry scenes of my childhood. The thing I do remember is that it was not dramatic. There was no burning bush (Exodus 3:1-8) or loud voice booming down through the clouds. I wasn’t struck by lightning or thrown down onto my face. I may not have had a dramatic conversion but I do remember accepting the fact that it’s not all about me, that there is someone higher than me that died for me, just for me, and that I owe him everything.

For a long time, the fact that I cannot give a then/now testimony used to stress me out. And for a long time, I dug and dug into my memories searching for a before to compare with my after. But there’s nothing. I was young and like most memories from my youth, they have faded into dull pieces of nothingness. My testimony cannot be told like they tell theirs.

That’s when I began to see just how personal a testimony truly is. How I came to Christ and what I feel now cannot be boxed into a testimony template. I don’t have some dark and dirty past that God pulled me out of. I was just me, a broken sinner living unknowingly in the sin I was born into, until one day Jesus came to my side and told me about what he did for me. And I simply was left unable to deny the overwhelming truth and found myself drawn to the man who gave up everything for me. And I came to him. And that, in a nutshell, is my testimony. A lost child. A quiet conversation. An undeniable attraction.

I learned that it doesn’t matter how I used to be and trying to remember who the sinful me was didn’t seem to be helping me move closer to the One who matters. I was so focused on trying to paint a beautiful testimony like others had that I was completely missing the point. It’s not about who I was. It’s about what He did (Colossians 2:13-15).

So now if you ask me to give my testimony I’m not going to try to make up some interesting pre-conversion story to make everything seem more dramatic. It’s not about that. I will simply tell you that like every person on this earth, I was once drowning in sin. And because of Jesus I am not anymore. Because of Jesus, I live in joy and in peace. Because of Jesus, I have someone to discuss my stresses and celebrate my joys with. Because of Jesus, I have seen that the life I live is a big beautiful blessing no matter what happens in it. And knowing this, I don’t care who I was before, because I know that who I am now and where I am now, a loved daughter in the arms of an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving Father, is all that matters.

K.J. 05/11/2016

There’s a song that I am reminded of called, My Story by Da’ T.R.U.T.H., a Christian rapper. If you are feeling inclined, listen to his song and/or read the lyrics. It can be encouraging if you are like me.