I had a not so great experience recently, that kind of hurt me. It’s not the first time I have experienced this, and admittedly last time I was hurt much more than this. Perhaps, one might call it growth, a growing understanding of people and myself. I am constantly learning about the complex dynamics of human interactions. I honestly can’t help but learn.

For many years, I have thought of myself as a robot playing the role of a human. I always had this thought because of how little I understood the people around me. It always felt like other people were operating from a different protocol than me, like I had missed the memo on how to be human. I found myself constantly perplexed by human behavior. I’d watch as people would act and react in ways that seem both counterintuitive and in direct opposition of their own thoughts. They would say things they didn’t mean or do things that seemed unnecessary. I was constantly asking why. It didn’t make sense. People didn’t make sense.

This year, its seems that confusion is hitting a peak. Someone hurt me today. Not physically, and I wouldn’t even say emotionally, but rather mentally. Someone did something to me that broke my good thoughts of them. A merry stream of positive beliefs scorched by a great heat of disappointment. Twice now, this has happened to me. Different people, different situations, same disappointment. Or perhaps it has happened many times, and my mind has chosen to shut those memories away.

Ironically, I recently began reading Unoffendable by Brant Hansen (at quite a timely season). I haven’t completed it, but thus far I have learned one important thing: We shouldn’t be offended when people behave in wrong or hurtful ways, because they are, well, human. Yep. That’s the main lesson I have learned. Essentially, what he is saying is that sinners will act like sinners. Me, you, all of us are going to act in our nature. So when things go sour, especially with those outside the faith, it should be no surprise. There should be no hurt, no tears, no anger, and no disappointment because, well, we should’ve expected it. It is only by the divine movement of the Holy Spirit that we sinners ever stop acting like a sinners.

While that lesson is an obvious yet ridiculously difficult thing to remember, I am straining to make it the basis of my thoughts on people. So in this moment as I try to pick up the pieces of my broken mental stream, I am extending that person (and every person who I felt has hurt or disappointed me) the benefit of the doubt. I’m not saying what they did was right or that I desire to be reconciled with them, just that I am beginning to understand. I am beginning to see why the words you said to my face don’t line up with you actions. I am beginning to understand why your behaviors seemed illogical, obsessive, or strange. I think I am getting why none of you makes sense any part of me. Because you are human and so am I. By definition, we are sinners and deep down will always be focused on ourselves.

So I am never going to truly understand you, why you do what you do, say what you say, and think what you think. Sometimes your actions, words, or thoughts are going to clash with me and my own. Sometimes they are going to hurt. But every time, I have to be okay with that. Because you will continue to be you as I continue to be me. And hopefully, as the Holy Spirit works in the world and in our hearts, we can both learn to be a little more kind, gracious, and unoffendable.